will you help me see my sunshine

if i give you my hand, if i trust the nothing i have left to loose, if i stand up tall again what will i loose.
if i fall again will you lift me up if i choose will you guide me
if i commit will you see e through
if i give you faith will you give me confidence
if i rise will i fall
if i fall will i rise

i will rise as long as i fall as long as i fall i will rise up again
i am bound to only rise up
is there anywhere else to hide
is there any more pain you want to cause
is there anymore hurt you want to choke
is there any other place you would rather be

let go and let go
say good bye to this day to this moment in time
say hello to tommorrow and the present
the ability to start over and over
let us transcend
let us unite
let us awaken
let us rise above
let us be the models of the happiness we wish to see in this life
let us be the united family bond we all are as one spirit
let us feel our spirit presence
let us awaken once and for all
let us rise above the screams of the chaotic ego in gratitude for the peace of the spirit
the silent strong unwavering powerful spirit
the end justifies the means
the help is there to assist
the balance is here to set you free
rise above
embrace the gifts of your life
embrace the coordinates of your existence
embrace with gratitude and trust and peaceful sakeeneh al faraj wal barakah
innah lilah wa innah eelayhee raaji300n
ash hadu annah laailaha ila allah wa ashhadu innah mohammadan 3ubuhu wa rasooluh to guide me to treat release and forgive the root of the 'problem' to set me free to be reborn again
to recreate myself again
to build my new strong fun fearless and free spirited beautiful cheeful peaceful personality
innah lilah wa innah 3alayhee raji3oon
thank you for the gift of compassion
thank you for the gift of grace thank you for the gift of forgiveness
the you for the gift of the productive brain
thank you for the gift of friendship thank you for the gift of trust
thank you for the gift of patience
thank you for the pleasure of the moment thank you for the gratitude for the abudance of my life
thank you for the virtue
thank you for the family and the unity
thank you so much for the gift to choose a second chance a better chance in you
wakaltu amree ilayk yani3m almawlaa, rabi ihdinee leeagrab min haathaa rashadaa
innaah lilah wa innaaah ilayhee raaji3oon
astghfur allah walhamdulilah
survival of the fittest
balance stability union safety trust peace intention purity rest assured all is working out for my highest good, enjoy geel the loving blessings pouring down on me, within me, purifying me and breathe a sigh of relief
sit back and enjoy the ride
god is taking over for me for now
9al allahuma 3ala nabiyunaa muhammad wa 3ala aalih wa 9a7bih wa salim ajma3een ayaan ila youm ildeen
innah lilah wa innah eelayhee raji3oon
amsayna wa amsaa almulku lilah
shukran ya raby ya habibi shukran shukran shukran 3ala ni3matik alwasi3ah wa rizgik al kareem al3atheem al 9aaib
innah lilah wa innaa ilayhee raaji3oon
enjoy the ride till we call on you for your turn to step up and drive in the direction we guide you to
trust in the process
let it fold in peace
respect yourself
honor yourslef
embrace yourself forgive yourself hurt people hurt people
i have been hurt and i have hurt before
others have been extensively hurt battered and bruised and badly battered others in turn before
all in the desperate attempt to let fo of the heaviness the ego tempts them to engage in and carry
step back
detach
take a deeeeeeeeeeeep loooooooooooooooong ass breath
cleanse
breathe
heal
surrender heal
restore
faith
optimisim acceptance optimism hope optimism happiness marriage body figure food respect boundries privacy commitment strength confidence conviction power intention trust intention forive yourself for forgetting
take it easy while learning
journal the journeying
sing the dance of love
live the life you always choose to live
live life
live now
one man. one world. one life.one man.one creation. one
the power of one
a7ad a7ad
allahuma wa7id shamlanaa wa an9urnaa 3alaa men 3aadanaa wa3tig rigaabanaa min al naar wa 9al allahuma 3ala nabiyuna muhamad wa3ala aalih al shurafaa ajma3een ayan ila youm ildeen
bismilah wal7amdulilah walahu akbar laailaha illah allah wa7dahu laashareeka lah
lah al7amd wa lahu alshukr wahuwa 3ala kul shay2 gadeer
innah lilah wa innaa ilayhee raaji300n

quiet desperation

attitude of gratitude
positive outlook
strength of conviction
forgiveness
acceptence of my bipolar yin and yang energy balance
truth in intention
compassion in effort
love the one self
the perfect creation of all the perfect energy coordinates
love myself and god as one
innah lilah wa innah ilayhee raaji3oon
forgiveness, acceptance, release, acknowledge, respect, honor, transcend, shine, love life live god as one
one love.one man.one world.one life. one heart. one purpose. one union. one family. one peace. one truth. one freedom
INTENTION
inama al a3maal bilniyyat
innah lilah wa innah ilayhee raaji3oon

the girl who cried wolf

do tell me i am wrong and i'll be happy. you will have fed my guilt, my insecure giant, my fearful sorrows.  masochism.
do tell me i'm r...and i'll stop you right there. dare you say the big bad 'right'??
does that not consist of some form of sacrilegious sacrifice to a big judgmental man on top
some scary take it or leave it all or nothing hop on or hop off
do i want to be boxed or free
what is freedom
am i conforming or releasing
if i am releasing myself then why do i feel so suffocated
why do i feel so confined and boxed and angry and tortured
living in an assembly line of desperately faithful seekers unwilling to question the realms of the guidelines of the religious interpretations of the past.
how does it fit in with today
how can a burdensome life fruit happiness and oneness
how can so much bitterness create unity
the unity of existence
here in lies the question
here in lies the dilema
do i stay true to my uncertainty but true to my inention
or would i rather play it 'safe' in the rules of the game the other mortals have passed on to me
if mohammed is an ultimate state of consiousness of virtue, then why the judgement
let us take one small step at a time in rebuilding our faith
let us call out for the god within each of us to guide us through the hypocracy of pretending to be someone we are not to fit into a box of socially accepted norms and values
or not?
to be or not to be
what do i want to be
right now am i committing myself to the box of islam because of the momentum in the holy month of ramadhan? how about the other holy months of the collective world, where do i go from here, is it just a matter of honoring our roots or respecting and grounding to the energies of the world
please help me
what does it mean to have blind faith when i harbor so many insecurities that i pretend religion can heal
is it one religion that promotes the acceptence of all other religions to come toghether as one to promote peaceful unity, then why the specific rituals, why is it so hard to understand the scripture? could it have been???? what the possibilities are endless, the values useless or liberating
the protection and saftey insurance coverage it offers for pretending to believe in something you dont understand
why the anger
why the rage
why the loneliness
help me help myslef
help me i am drowning this time for ture
i know i have cried many times before in search for confirmation of love and compassion but this time i am left to walk the plank and dive into an ocean of sharks, without any help of anyone but myself, the question is do i want to pull myself our because i love myself or am i doing it out of force of habit or my soul's desire.
as an ego i want to put my hands up in total surrendr
dear god i am raw i am sliced up into a million shattere pieces
i am brusied i am battered i am faithless i am faithful i am hopeless i am hopeful i am despair i am hope
i am courage i am weakness
i am certainty i am confusion
dear god in my and aroudn me
dear merciful god who does not judge me or favor me because of routine ritualistic insincere acts of coersed devotion, i cintinue to come back to you with my tail between my legs in shame and confusion, holding on with all my might with my last breathes in the only way i 'know' how, in the only way i was brought up to believe true, please save me from pretending to be someone i am not
or
please save me from believing that i am pretending to be someone i am not
if this rebellious rage is just you healing my resurfaced old wounds that are in desperate need for compassion then let me accept it as that and release me from my misery
release my fro theis paradigmn of self sabotage self doubt and transition me with the purity of my intention to the place i choose to be in you
a palce of absolute peace love
devotion
acceptance and serenity
innah lilah wa innah ilayhee raaji3oon
ps i want to love myself so unconditionally
i want to accept myself and forgive meysefl for all my lost internal dialogue
i wnat truth
i want peace
and most of all i want to marry myself with all my flaws and stenghts and be there for myslef forever love forever light
peace out i love you

gharig il ghargaan akthar

today's lesson is in compassion
energy happiness vampires
drowners want to drown others with them, to lift them back up

dear god- send me inspiration from the heavens above, within, and around as one
when the going gets tough the tough gets going
when the theme is compassion then learn to forgive
easier said than done she said
entertaining the thought of one of the many mirrors of the universe's reflection, reflecting back to her her state of delirium, upset, inner chaos and confusion
step back she said
step into the eyes of the observer and experience true vision
how can i she replied when i have tied up all my thoughts with feelings of rage, fear, guilt and anger.
i am afraid she said. i am afraid he will hurt me back with his harsh words and expose my dirty laundry.
but isn't your 'dirty laundry' just as bad as others' dirty laundry- on a varying level
looking at it from a different angle, stepping into another's shoe, i see what she means
i come to accept that one man's treasure is another man's tragedy, pain...when its in my power and capacity to choose how to look at this situation, I now choose compassion.
dear mama, please do not be upset and affected by their harsh words, they are drowning so fast and so deep so early into their marriage
both husband and wife keep plucking each others feather's off
both drowning in desperate need for air, in an attempt for salvation and survival
in a universe of infinite possibilities, the possibility of looking at the flip side seems so well and dandy until yu6fa7 il kayl
of course i am gonna want to believe 'my reality' it fits so perfectly well with my brain's created mold of  reality or my illusion of reality.
step aside
call the ego out
not everyone loves jesus, mohammed, ghandi, buddha, krishna....
one hero, many faces....
now breathe and remember that all these faces are but a mirror reflection exposing a weed so deeply rooted in your mind, desperately in need of forgiveness (for choosing to go along with the painful thoughts) and compassion (remembering the ra7mah)
the weed is sinking deep into the poisonous dark waters of despair, 'i need oxygen, i need the breath of life. i need the breath of god's compassionate love. heal me please.
what context do you look at it
ok i made a mistake i went with along with temptation, the beautiful lure of distraction glorified to me, painted out to me ib il wiswas baaya3 il7achy
take one bite of the apple, i promise you it tastes soooooooooooooooo good. just one small bite one teeny weeny bite, just one... i promise you its a whole lot more entertaining
i am NOT going to fall into the trap of temptation
the ride to hell
i'd so much rather be in the 'calm' bliss of 'ignorance' than be in the 'fast' paced life/moments of hell thoughts with the devil's torture, taking me back to revisit every single dark nook of my past in an attempt to connect the pieces of the 'dark puzzle' together to create a dark tapestry of life.
STOP
put a halt to the crap
hit the breaks real hard
i love you
i trust you
you are the light of god
dont fall for the devil's temptation
i ove you

To: Islam, From: Muslims -with love, one love (ashhadu innah laa eelaha ila allah wa ashhadu innah mu7amadan 3abduhu wa rasooluh)

www.TheHappyPill.com
Yours Truly,
Smile People Foundation for liberation of public pubic affairs
where do we go from here
my ass would be a great place to start looking at all the elaborately creative bullshit we create our artificial misery and as if that is't bad enough, keep living off the toxicity it
allah akbar allah akbar
athan al thuhur
stop reflect
ground come back to your inner self, your god self basma, forgive yourself for projections of the ego mind
stay focused with god in god
7aya 3ala al9allah
allah akbar allah akbar
laa ilahaha ila illa allah
7agan la ilaha ila allah
7aya 3ala al fala7
welcome to success
welcome to peace
welcome to eternal bliss
la ilaha ila allah 7agan laa ilaha ila allah
rabana rab hathihee al da3watil tameh wal9alat il gaa2meh aatee mu7amadan al waseelatah wal fa6'eelah wab3th hu magaman ma7moodan alathy wa3adtah innak laa tukhlif il mee3ad
serotonin boost
refuelling and servicing engine
full service
all it takes
pull all the stops
pimp it out full daddy to rock this journey
transcending all limits of time and space
in the awakening to the the reality of the oneness that bridges all time and space as one
one spirit in me and one spirit around me as one
first and foremost responsibility is to safeguard this special amaaneh that comes with the sacred powerful roo7 illah
ground yourself
align yourself
i3ta9imoo bi7abil illah
laa illaha illah allah
dear god today like everyday i wake up with the intention to do my best, offer you my best and stop betraying my true SELF, the true essence of my being, what i am truly made of, in this hologram of the tapestry of life as you see it.
i ask you to help me maintain and sustain my awareness through prayer, islamic prayer postulations and other meditative portals
any portals
in my quest to let go of the 'limited' perception of 'perfection' to unfold 'truth' in vision- the unlimited power of your creation in your free will, that is me and everyone and everything as one
innah lilah wa innah eelayhee raji3oon
help me, guide me, ground me, balance me, sustain me, elevate me, transcend me, free me, forgive me, love me, blow me up with will power, strength and courage in conviction that humility, forgiveness and compassion are my lessons for growth
grow, forgive
transcend, let go
be at peace, have comapssion
let go of all labels and titles and inaccurate analysis
only god knows what anything means and what anything is for
accept limited perception in return for god's holy truth
write a book
journey to self
calling all angels
finding my self
healing myself
freeing myself
BEING mySELF
inna lilah wa inna ilayhee raaji3oon
bismillah tawakaltu 3ala al 7ay alathy laa yamoot


alright commands for motherboard all active and set
it works if you work it basma
remember we are all here for you
now kick the bucket and move forward in your pace and your interest ONLY
today's mission is to make yourself happy doing things that you love that bring you all the happiness you deserve, all the happiness that you are
happiness and me are one
god and me = ROO7 ALLAH and ME
me and god = ME and ROO7 ALLAH
are one
let go of unnecessary crutches that 

placebo devotion

the placebo effect

its all in the mind 

always was 

always is 

forever will be

density of space or density of mind that is the question

as we emerge from the suffocation in the glass jar we find our selves at a crossroad

who are we

who am i 

who is this glass jar 

does it hold me back or does it set me free

back to the age old square one

back to the basics 

back to life 

back to god

back to one

allahum thabit agdamanaa

wa3tig rigaabanaa from the nar we allow for ourselves to continously recreate in the name of the dream......

in the name of the requiem for a dream

guru thapar thank you for opening my eyes to the other side

crossing over in conviction

somehow somewhere something great is happening for me right now

somehow somewhere something extraordinary is happening for me right ow

what are your eyes telling me

an irritation 

show me the world from the eyes of your truth, my truth our truth the one one truth that binds us all together as the infinite power of the universal eternal one

one spirit

one forgiveness 

one compassion 

one mercy 

in the power of one

in the name of unity 

freedom

love conquers all

show me the light 

give me what i need

dear god please save me

dear god are you there

she calls out loud screaming with raging anger at the dark glimmering light

stars shine 

resolutions pass

and the road is laid out with the light

the path is ablazed with conviction for change

how do i bring the healing love back to this world

how can i be the change i want to see in the world 

how do i honor my commitments and remain a free boundless

colorful bird escaping the confines of the meeeaaan judgemental harsh basma 

the angry scarred hurt basma 

the basma that needs to let go of being bullied into being who she did not like 

just to be liked

but it was never enough

nothing was ever good enough

dear army of angels please hear me

play back the lyrics of my life loud and clear

save me from the poison of limiting thoughts

the crutches of cushion 

the cushion for the rough ride

all in the liberating lie that we have created to escape 

forgiveness

compassion gratitude

be gentle with yourself and take it easy

make a big deal out of every 'small' deal 

The Puffin' Lovin'

Culture is like a senior student telling a freshman what to expect from university life; what is right; what is wrong; what it means to be a student – but on a frighteningly larger scale.

[Flye the all seein' eye]