do tell me i am wrong and i'll be happy. you will have fed my guilt, my insecure giant, my fearful sorrows. masochism.
do tell me i'm r...and i'll stop you right there. dare you say the big bad 'right'??
does that not consist of some form of sacrilegious sacrifice to a big judgmental man on top
some scary take it or leave it all or nothing hop on or hop off
do i want to be boxed or free
what is freedom
am i conforming or releasing
if i am releasing myself then why do i feel so suffocated
why do i feel so confined and boxed and angry and tortured
living in an assembly line of desperately faithful seekers unwilling to question the realms of the guidelines of the religious interpretations of the past.
how does it fit in with today
how can a burdensome life fruit happiness and oneness
how can so much bitterness create unity
the unity of existence
here in lies the question
here in lies the dilema
do i stay true to my uncertainty but true to my inention
or would i rather play it 'safe' in the rules of the game the other mortals have passed on to me
if mohammed is an ultimate state of consiousness of virtue, then why the judgement
let us take one small step at a time in rebuilding our faith
let us call out for the god within each of us to guide us through the hypocracy of pretending to be someone we are not to fit into a box of socially accepted norms and values
or not?
to be or not to be
what do i want to be
right now am i committing myself to the box of islam because of the momentum in the holy month of ramadhan? how about the other holy months of the collective world, where do i go from here, is it just a matter of honoring our roots or respecting and grounding to the energies of the world
please help me
what does it mean to have blind faith when i harbor so many insecurities that i pretend religion can heal
is it one religion that promotes the acceptence of all other religions to come toghether as one to promote peaceful unity, then why the specific rituals, why is it so hard to understand the scripture? could it have been???? what the possibilities are endless, the values useless or liberating
the protection and saftey insurance coverage it offers for pretending to believe in something you dont understand
why the anger
why the rage
why the loneliness
help me help myslef
help me i am drowning this time for ture
i know i have cried many times before in search for confirmation of love and compassion but this time i am left to walk the plank and dive into an ocean of sharks, without any help of anyone but myself, the question is do i want to pull myself our because i love myself or am i doing it out of force of habit or my soul's desire.
as an ego i want to put my hands up in total surrendr
dear god i am raw i am sliced up into a million shattere pieces
i am brusied i am battered i am faithless i am faithful i am hopeless i am hopeful i am despair i am hope
i am courage i am weakness
i am certainty i am confusion
dear god in my and aroudn me
dear merciful god who does not judge me or favor me because of routine ritualistic insincere acts of coersed devotion, i cintinue to come back to you with my tail between my legs in shame and confusion, holding on with all my might with my last breathes in the only way i 'know' how, in the only way i was brought up to believe true, please save me from pretending to be someone i am not
or
please save me from believing that i am pretending to be someone i am not
if this rebellious rage is just you healing my resurfaced old wounds that are in desperate need for compassion then let me accept it as that and release me from my misery
release my fro theis paradigmn of self sabotage self doubt and transition me with the purity of my intention to the place i choose to be in you
a palce of absolute peace love
devotion
acceptance and serenity
innah lilah wa innah ilayhee raaji3oon
ps i want to love myself so unconditionally
i want to accept myself and forgive meysefl for all my lost internal dialogue
i wnat truth
i want peace
and most of all i want to marry myself with all my flaws and stenghts and be there for myslef forever love forever light
peace out i love you
do tell me i'm r...and i'll stop you right there. dare you say the big bad 'right'??
does that not consist of some form of sacrilegious sacrifice to a big judgmental man on top
some scary take it or leave it all or nothing hop on or hop off
do i want to be boxed or free
what is freedom
am i conforming or releasing
if i am releasing myself then why do i feel so suffocated
why do i feel so confined and boxed and angry and tortured
living in an assembly line of desperately faithful seekers unwilling to question the realms of the guidelines of the religious interpretations of the past.
how does it fit in with today
how can a burdensome life fruit happiness and oneness
how can so much bitterness create unity
the unity of existence
here in lies the question
here in lies the dilema
do i stay true to my uncertainty but true to my inention
or would i rather play it 'safe' in the rules of the game the other mortals have passed on to me
if mohammed is an ultimate state of consiousness of virtue, then why the judgement
let us take one small step at a time in rebuilding our faith
let us call out for the god within each of us to guide us through the hypocracy of pretending to be someone we are not to fit into a box of socially accepted norms and values
or not?
to be or not to be
what do i want to be
right now am i committing myself to the box of islam because of the momentum in the holy month of ramadhan? how about the other holy months of the collective world, where do i go from here, is it just a matter of honoring our roots or respecting and grounding to the energies of the world
please help me
what does it mean to have blind faith when i harbor so many insecurities that i pretend religion can heal
is it one religion that promotes the acceptence of all other religions to come toghether as one to promote peaceful unity, then why the specific rituals, why is it so hard to understand the scripture? could it have been???? what the possibilities are endless, the values useless or liberating
the protection and saftey insurance coverage it offers for pretending to believe in something you dont understand
why the anger
why the rage
why the loneliness
help me help myslef
help me i am drowning this time for ture
i know i have cried many times before in search for confirmation of love and compassion but this time i am left to walk the plank and dive into an ocean of sharks, without any help of anyone but myself, the question is do i want to pull myself our because i love myself or am i doing it out of force of habit or my soul's desire.
as an ego i want to put my hands up in total surrendr
dear god i am raw i am sliced up into a million shattere pieces
i am brusied i am battered i am faithless i am faithful i am hopeless i am hopeful i am despair i am hope
i am courage i am weakness
i am certainty i am confusion
dear god in my and aroudn me
dear merciful god who does not judge me or favor me because of routine ritualistic insincere acts of coersed devotion, i cintinue to come back to you with my tail between my legs in shame and confusion, holding on with all my might with my last breathes in the only way i 'know' how, in the only way i was brought up to believe true, please save me from pretending to be someone i am not
or
please save me from believing that i am pretending to be someone i am not
if this rebellious rage is just you healing my resurfaced old wounds that are in desperate need for compassion then let me accept it as that and release me from my misery
release my fro theis paradigmn of self sabotage self doubt and transition me with the purity of my intention to the place i choose to be in you
a palce of absolute peace love
devotion
acceptance and serenity
innah lilah wa innah ilayhee raaji3oon
ps i want to love myself so unconditionally
i want to accept myself and forgive meysefl for all my lost internal dialogue
i wnat truth
i want peace
and most of all i want to marry myself with all my flaws and stenghts and be there for myslef forever love forever light
peace out i love you
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